Raising children in Christian families

Christianity: Marriage and the Family

World Faith

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Information: This articles looks at how religion influences family life and the raising of children, from the Christian perspective. A version of this article was originally published on the website www.faithnet.org.uk.

Christening

At a Christening service, the baby is taken to a font and sprinkled with water on the head three times, in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (the Trinity). Sometimes the sign of a cross is made instead.

Baptismal fonts are often found near the door of the church building, in order to show that baptism is the way a person comes into the Christian Church.

In Christianity, water is a sign of life, and signifies being cleansed from sin.

During a Christening Service the child's parents and God-parents make promises that they will bring the child up to be a Christian. The child will then confirm that they have been raised as a Christian, and want to remain in the Church when they are around twelve years old.

All Christians want acknowledge the birth of a child, and their decision to raise them in the Christian tradition, in some formal way. However, not all Christians believe baptising babies is biblical (something the Bible teaches), and as such they may choose to simply dedicate their child (and themselves) to God, during a worship service.

Some things said during an Anglican Christening service:

Priest: Will you be responsible for seeing that [this child] is brought up in the Christian faith and life?'
Parents and Godparents: [We] will, with God's help.
Priest: Will you by your prayers and witness help this child to grow into the full stature of Christ?
Parents and Godparents: [We] will, with God's help. (Holy Baptism: The Book of Common Prayer [Brackets mine])

Christians get baptised because Jesus was baptised, and because he commanded his followers to baptise other people. He said, 'Go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit'. (Matthew 28:19)

Confirmation

As a result of being Christened, children will be encouraged to attend church and take classes instructing them about the Christian tradition, which lead to their Confirmation. This is when they confirm the promises made on behalf of them by their parents and God-parents at their Christening, but also shows that they will now be responsible for their own spiritual life. Usually children are confirmed at the age of twelve, but they can also be confirmed earlier, or even when they are adults.

Some things said during an Anglican Confirmation service:

Bishop: Do you reaffirm your renunciation of evil?
Candidate: I do.
Bishop: Do you renew your commitment to Jesus Christ?
Candidate: I do, and with God's grace I will follow him as my Saviour and Lord.

(Other promises are made by various people present)

Bishop: 'Let us now pray for these persons who have renewed their commitment to Christ. (Confirmation with forms for Reception and for the Reaffirmation of Baptismal Vows: The Book of Common Prayer)

Church attendance

Someone raised in a Christian family will usually attend church services and meetings regularly, and may even get involved in running some of the activities there. Church is a place where people met with other Christians to praise and worship God. Lots of times worship is concerned with thanking God for Jesus, but also for asking God's forgiveness for sins. At other times worship may involve thanking God for life itself, and all the good things in the world. However, going to church is more than just about praying, singing and reading the Bible. It is also a place where people meet together to develop and strengthen their friendships with each other. Church is a place of support where people will find help in many ways. In services and prayer meetings, people's needs will be brought before the church members and God in prayer. Although we often talk about Church buildings, the 'church' is really made up of the people who attend. This idea was developed by the Apostle Paul who said the Church is like a body, which has many parts, and which all work together to make the whole body function.

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ... there should be no division in the body, but that its parts have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. (1 Corinthians 12:12-28)

Family life

Part of increasing a person's faith in, and knowledge of God, comes through spending time alone in prayer and Bible study. When a whole family are Christians, importance is placed on bringing everyone together regularly for family devotions. Many times Christians will say grace before a meal, in order to give thanks to God for the food they are about to eat.

What Quakers (The Religious Society of Friends) said about family life:

Parents may try to help their children to become accustomed to silence at home - for instance in a silent 'grace' before meals, or a moment of quiet before being tucked up for the night. (Quaker Views: Close Relationships, Quakers in Britain)

Education

Picture of Stephen A Richards teaching Religious Studies For Christian parents, making religion a central part of family life is important to them because they will be concerned to make sure their children learn the Christian tradition, and remain faithful to God. Some families are also keen to send their children to a school, which emphasis the denotation (or group) they are members of in Christian tradition (E.g. a Church of England or Roman Catholic school). In 'Christian schools', pupils will be encouraged to attend assemblies where hymns will be sung, and prayers said. At some Church of England and Roman Catholic schools, the Eucharist may be taken by pupils and members of staff who have been confirmed. Although UK law requires every school to teach religious studies, the actual content may be decided by schools who are members of a specific religious tradition. Therefore, Church of England and Roman Catholic schools would place emphasis on teaching about the Christian faith as they understand it.

What the Church of England says about its schools:

The Church of England Education Division's mission is to promote Education and Learning that: nurture people within the church and the community; encourage the faith, vocation and participation of all; equip those engaged in all forms of ministry and service; provide opportunities of the highest quality. (Transforming Church and Community through Education and Learning, The Church of England)

What one Roman Catholic school has said:

In our school we are committed to proclaiming the Good News of Jesus Christ through the life and activities of the school... As each person involved in the school, whether child or adult, makes a personal journey of faith we aim to give to one another acceptance, affirmation and opportunities to experience God's love. (Corpus Christi Roman Catholic Primary School)

Summary: Key features of a religious upbringing (Christianity)

A religious family will promote a particular religious view as being normal.
Religious families will include religion into their daily life as much as possible.
Children will be regularly taken to a place of worship, and taught that God exists.
They may attend a religious school which has the same beliefs as their family (E.g. Children with Roman Catholic parents may attend a Catholic school).
Anglican and Roman Catholic parents may Christen their children, and later on encourage them to be confirmed.
Some Christians want their children to develop their own views about what they believe (E.g. Quakers).

Some issues

It is normal, and to be expected, that parents will want to pass on to their children religious beliefs they accept as true. After all, if people believe in God, an after life and a judgment, then they will want their children to believe what they understand to be the truth, in order that they might be saved. Parents will want their children to share in their beliefs, and will develop a home life which promotes them (and is based on them) as far as possible. However, one criticism of children raised in this way, is that they may not be given a choice in what to believe. Children may also grow up to be intolerant of religious beliefs, which are different to their own.

Something to discuss: In his book The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins wrote, 'It is [a child's] privilege to decide what they shall think, and not the parent's privilege to impose it' (p.327 [Bracket mine]). Do you agree or disagree with this statement, and why?